It's here!!!!THUNDERCLAW'S History!!!!!

It took me a while,but it's here,my history.

Name:.ThunderkitThunderpawThunderclaw
clan:Thunderclan Awesomeclan
gender:male
Age:24 moons
Personality:Brave,loyal,hardworking,ambitious
Mate:Dawnstorm
Kits:Honeykit,Swiftkit,Shadowkit,Heatherkit
Parents:Eaglewing(Father,dead)Mousefur(mother,dead)
History:Thunderkit was always picked on because he was small for his size.He kept getting in trouble for trying to sleep in the leader's den,for he dreamed of being leader.

Thunderpaw was visited by Tigerstar in dreams,so he could train.He was like Tigerstar how he hated to clean out the nursery and the elder's den.One day,Kittypets attacked!His mom and dad died defending the nursery.He was heartbroken.

Thunderclaw hated all kittypets for what they did to his parents.One night,starclan came to him in a dream and told him his destiny lie in Awesomeclan.He didn't want to,but he did reluctantly.Cheesestar was good to him,and accepted him.

This should be in Create your Cats O.o

it is in Create Your Cat(s). unless a mod already moved it, but they should have stated where it was moved to when they did it.

i sound so good in your history :'D Ancient Mousefur is your mom, hm?

How can you be in two Clans at once? o.O It says "ThunderClan AwesomeClan"

And you should have put commas between those. I think you should have typed it out on Word first because the lack of spaces between words and punctuation makes it look kind of messy, and hard to read. More detail on the history would be good, because somehow I feel it is not quite complete.

Sorry,but i don't know how to cross stuff out.And cheesestar, ...*Sarcastically*Of course,the vvery ancient Mousefur,my mom.

umm, don't be rude to him. I like it, it seems original, anything original is fine with me!

She's not being rude, she's just helping him correct his mistakes. Cool cat Thunder

Thanks, Windy I was just doing my Reviewer stuff, Lunar xD anyways, sorry if I sounded rude. What do you mean you can't cross stuff out?

He said "don't know how" Maple.

It's a cool cat, and a little more detail would make it awesome. You cross out stuff by using the code:

Code:

[strike]-words to be crossed out here-[/strike]

Thunderkit was always picked on because he was small for his size. He kept getting in trouble for trying to sleep in the leader's den, for he dreamed of being leader.

Thunderpaw was visited by Tigerstar in dreams, so he could train. He was like Tigerstar how he hated to clean out the nursery and the elder's den. One day, Kittypets attacked! His mom and dad died defending the nursery. He was heartbroken.

Thunderclaw hated all kittypets for what they did to his parents. One night, starclan came to him in a dream and told him his destiny lie in Awesomeclan. He didn't want to, but he did reluctantly. Cheesestar was good to him, and accepted him..

Kittypets isn't usually capitalized, but yeah. And StarClan is written like this in the actually books, and CheeseStar has her name like that. xD

Thanks everyone.I'm glad you all like my history,and thanks for the help,Maple.

Aren't you going to edit it? it's easier to read that way.

Or maybe if you can't or don't know how, you could ask one of the GMs to help you?

Alright i will thanks.

Please avoid posting unnecessarily I strongly suggest you properly space and punctuate your character sheet. It looks more neat and attractive that way (like space it the way this post is typed, a space after each colon, period, or comma).

Hey, Thunderclaw, how about this?

Name: Thunderkit/Thunderpaw/Thunderclaw (present)

Gender: Tom

Age: 24 Moons

Clan: ThunderClan (former), AwesomeClan (Present)

Rank: Warrior

Description: Whatever you want

Personality: Brave, loyal, ambitious, hard-working

Mate: DawnStorm

Kits:Honeykit, Swiftkit, Shadowkit, Heatherkit (All with DawnStorm)

Parents: Eaglewing (Father; Deceased), Mousefur (Mother; Deceased)

History: Thunderkit
was always picked on because he was small for his age. He also kept getting
in trouble for trying to sleep in the leader's den, for he dreamed of
being leader.

Thunderpaw was visited by Tigerstar in dreams, so he
could train with the Dark Forest. He was like Tigerstar, how he hated to clean out the nursery
and the elder's den. One day,Kittypets attacked! His mom and dad died
defending the nursery. He was heartbroken.

Thunderclaw
hated all kittypets for what they did to his parents. One night, StarClan
came to him in a dream and told him his destiny lied in AwesomeClan. He
didn't want to go,but he did reluctantly. CheeseStar was good to him,and
accepted him.

I spaced it out and added some words like 'an' and 'the' and such. I figured it might look a bit neater. Remember to add a space after periods, commas, etc. I would also suggest adding a bit more to your history. And maybe in your history you should add that you were formerly in ThunderClan, and that I became your mate, and had kits, and so on.