The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
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Noxe
Redstar
Auburnflare
Phoenixwing
Lilacstar
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The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Here is the Cherry and Berry Destiny! Do you think your ready to handle it???
Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
END OF BOOK SPOILER!
- Allegiances:
- Riverclan
Leader: Ruststar: Red-orange tom with darker streaks along his back and amber eyes.
Deputy: Treebark: Brown tabby tom with dark stripes and green eyes.
Medicine Cat: Teardrop: Black and white she-cat with pretty green eyes.
Medicine Cat Apprentice: Bluepaw: Blue grey tom with blue eyes.
Warriors:
Shadyclaw: Black and grey tom with cloudy amber eyes and a broken fang.
Littlemouse: Tiny, dusty brown she-cat with bright amber eyes.
Ambershade: Golden pelted she-cat with darker splashes and deep, dark amber eyes.
Poison berry: Dark, Dark brown tabby tom with a battle scarred face and amber eyes.
Whiteriver: White she-cat with one blue eye and one green eye.
Fawnriver: Pretty light brown tabby with amber eyes.
Blackwater: Black tom with green eyes and long claws.
Waterclaw: Blue-grey tom with long black claws and deep blue eyes.
Riverecho: Silver tabby she-cat with blue-green eyes.
Splashtail: Calico tom with deep, fern green eyes.
Riversong: Pretty blue-silver she-cat with bright, bubbling blue eyes.
Mallowleaf: Large brown brindle tom with large amber eyes.
Orchidleaf: pale, splashed calico she-cat with amber eyes.
Sunfish: Golden she-cat with darker stripes and amber eyes.
Apprentices:
Applepaw: Brown tabby she-cat with lighter stripes and green eyes.
Moonpaw: Silver tabby tom with dark blue eyes.
Sagepaw: Small light brown she-cat with bright blue eyes.
Queens and kits:
Tawnyfawn: Black and brown tawny she-cat with green eyes.
Her kits:
Palekit: Small pale tom-kit with green eyes.
Riverfire: Grey she-cat with bright, flamboyant amber eyes.
Her kits:
Frogkit: Grey tom with darker stripes and green eyes.
Smallkit: Small, grey tabby tom with amber eyes.
Lilykit: Small grey she-kit with bright green eyes.
Moonberry: Silver tabby she-cat with beautiful green eyes.
Her kits:
Berrykit: Cream she-cat with white paws, belly, and tail tip with shining sea-green eyes.
Cherrykit: Cream she-cat with darker patches on her chest, belly, front paws, and tail tip with sea green eyes.
Elders:
Mudweed: Brown tabby tom with a white muzzle and cloudy green eyes
Creamyfur: Creamy colored she-cat with dark brown eyes.
Riveradder: Black and white tom with lots of battle scars and amber eyes.
- Prolouge!:
Darkness gripped the earth, and two shadows slunk forward. One shadow was a brilliant white with a trail of stars following its paw steps, and one shadow was a dark murky grey with a rotten foul black trail following it. As the two shadows, nothing more than a flicker now, entered Starclan’s hunting grounds, cat’s spirits stopped and froze in fright of the two ancient cats. As the white and black shadow settled down in a meadow, the white spirit rasped “Crookedstar…we must speak with you..” and the black spirit sat silently, its hollow amber eyes raking over the meadow coldly. As Crookedstar gingerly crossed the meadow to the two ancients, he felt fear weighing down his pelt, and his starry fur spiked up in nervous fear. “Crookedstar, it has been long since we gave the clans the last ancient prophecy, so you should be proud you are receiving this.” The white spirit mewed solemnly, and the black spirit nodded, it’s hollow amber eyes locking on Crookedstar, making his fur bristle. “What is this special prophecy anyways, White spirit?” Crookedstar asked, looking the white spirit over with his raking amber eyes. The white spirit’s hollow blue gaze raked him over, and the spirit began,
” "Clan against clan in the darkest hour, two will rise to save the clans in a destiny like no other." White spirit murmured and looked at Crookedstar with hollow icy blue eyes and White spirit mewed “And the saviors are in Riverclan. It is your job to inform Riverclan’s healer and the leader about the prophecy, and you also must find the destined two.” Crookedstar flinched slightly at the enormous task ahead of him, but if it was to save his clan he would do it! “I accept.” Crookedstar mewed, looking at the White spirit and the Black Spirit. ”You could never refuse in the first place, coward.” the Black spirit rumbled, but the White spirit shot it a glare, then the White spirit looked up, a hint of sadness on its faint face. ”Alas, Crookedstar, we must go. Our ancestors need us more than ever now..” Then the White spirit dipped its head, and gave Crookedstar a parting nod, before the White spirit leaped into the air, and dissolved into many stars that gave off brilliant light that light up the dark Starclan hunting grounds. The Black spirit padded up, and looked at Crookedstar for a moment, and then the Black Spirit mewed ”Best of luck, one young. I know the clans will survive.” then the Black Spirit gave Crookedstar a friendly cuff over the ears, before the Black Spirit leaped into the air, dissolving into the beautiful black night sky. Crookedstar watched, his mouth agape with the surprise at the amazing event he had just witnessed. ”Hurry Crookedstar, time’s almost up..” Crookedstar heard The White and Black Spirits voice ring in the air, and Crookedstar got to his paws, and raced out of the meadow, his mind set on the task ahead of him. The enormous task ahead…
Chapter 1:
- The Nightmare called the Future...:
- ____________Berrykit’s POV.________________________________________________________
Berrykit sat curled up against her mother, Moonberry, and leaned against her fore-legs and looked outside of the nursery, watching the peaceful camp. “What in Starclan?! Why is everything so blurry and white?” Berrykit though, just now noticing that every cat, fish, leaf, twig, and droplet of water was white in a black background. Berrykit shuddered, it was frightening. The white world scared her. “I’ll ask Cherrykit! She and I usually see the same things.” Berrykit decided and then turned to look at her sister and gasped in horror. Cherrykit was turning white and fading away. “Cherrykit!” Berrykit screamed, struggling to her paws but something has snaked around them. “NO! Cherrykit!” Cherrykit screamed, making Berrykit screech, thrashing in the vines that had crept up and wrapped around her. “Berrykit! Help me!” Cherrykit screamed, sticking her paw out for her sister while struggling. Berrykit struggled harder, and she began to use her tiny thorn sharp claws to tear through the vine. She was free! Berrykit leaped to her paws, and raced across to her sister, and she leaped to grab her sister, but then Cherrykit vanished with a thin wail and a poof of mist. “C-Cherrykit…?” Berrykit stammered, tears filling her eyes. “Cherrykit!” she cried wildly, looking around the nursery. “Cherrykit! Come back!” she yowled, looking around. Suddenly Berrykit saw a pale orange tabby tom with a twisted jaw with a star filled coat pad toward her. “G-go away! You! Y-you must of taken Cherrykit! Give my sister back!” Berrykit wailed, and tried to slash at the tom. The orange tom sighed, and sat down and mewed softly, “I am Crookedstar. I was leader of Riverclan many, many, many, many, many seasons ago.” and Berrykit lashed her stumpy tail and growled, “I want to know what happened to my sister, not hear your life story!” and Crookedstar flicked his ears and leaned in and growled, “The prophecy made a mistake. Cherrykit has a dark path. She is not the cherry in the destiny. She was never supposed to be born. If you chose to have your sister be returned, you shall suffer, Berrykit. Suffer nine times over, with Riverclan at your side.” Crookedstar looked at the tiny she-kit, his hollow amber eyes hardening. “I want my sister back. Family is more important to me than my clan.” Berrykit mewed, and suddenly she saw Cherrykit’s limp shape reappear in the nursery. Crookedstar frowned, then his pelt swirled into thousands of stars and then he vanished. “Cherrykit!” Berrykit cried joyfully, but then suddenly she pelt something jab her. And jab her again and again. With a gasp, Berrykit awoke, safe and sound in the nursery. Berrykit rolled on her back to see Cherrykit staring at her with fear in her eyes. “So we both had the same dream…” Berrykit mused in her mind, and then she got to her paws, and pressed against her sister. “That was a nightmare…a nightmare called the future…” Berrykit thought, as the two sister curled up together to face the frightening night together. “Berrykit, promise you won’t let me fade away?” Cherrykit mewed, her voice shaking. Berrykit pressed against her smaller sister, and mewed comfortingly, “I won’t let them hurt you. I am your sister, your flesh and blood. So if you fade, I’ll come with you.” Berrykit promised, then she relaxed as Cherrykit fell asleep. “But for some reason…I fell like you, Cherrykit will somehow protect me in a way I can’t ever do for you..” Berrykit whispered, then she snuggled closer to Cherrykit, and soon fell asleep. Soon, Moonberry returned from the Gathering, and curled around her sleeping kits, sensing something was wrong, but she couldn’t put her paws on it. Soon, Moonberry gave up, and groomed her pelt, her kits pelts, and then she fell asleep into the fraud of a ‘safe dream’.
Chapter 2:
- Good day or Bad day?:
Cherrykit opened her eyes to the sound of the rain letting up, and stretched, making her long forepaws bat against Berrykit’s back. Groaning, Cherrykit tried to get comfortable in the tiny nursery, but the whole den seemed so cramped now that Fawnriver had moved into the nursery, expecting Mallowleaf’s kits. “The nursery use to seem so big five moons ago, but now it feels like the tiniest den in the whole forest! When will Ruststar make Berrykit and I apprentices? Riverclan already has plenty of kits, but we only have three apprentices!” Cherrykit ranted in her mind when suddenly a tail stroking her back made her snap back into the real world. “Cherrykit, you seem awfully cramped, would you like to take a walk?” Moonberry mewed, looking down at her daughter with soft forest green eyes. “Sure, mother. I’ll be back soon.” Cherrykit promised, and then she carefully got to her paws, and padded out of the den into the wet, rain filled clearing. “Hello, Cherrykit. What are you doing out of the nursery so early?” Splashtail asked, looking down on the small she-kit. “I couldn’t sleep, so my mother let me go out on a walk but the clearing is so boring!” Cherrykit complained to the calico tom, who smiled. “Well, I could take you out on a walk to the river?” Splashtail mewed. “Really?! Oh thank you, thank you, and thank you!” Cherrykit squealed, bouncing on her paws. Splashtail purred, she was a smart young she-cat. ” I hope I could get her as an apprentice!” Splashtail thought, then he padded toward the reed entrance to the camp. “Coming?” he asked, and the tiny she-cat nodded and raced past him into the reeds. “Come back!” he cried, amusement in his voice. Soon, because of his long legs, he caught easily up to Cherrykit who was panting. “Look…..at….the….river..” Cherrykit panted, and Splashtail looked at the river and gasped. The water was lapping over the stepping stones and was already slowly creeping toward the camp. “We must warn the clan!” Splashtail gasped, and then he looked at the tiny Cherrykit and he picked her up by the scruff, and raced along the trail to the camp, which was starting to get muddied from the rising water and the rain. “R-!” Splashtail was about to say, but someone had hissed, slapping their tail over Splashtail’s mouth. “Ah. Splashtail. Looks like you found Cherrykit in time for her apprentice ceremony!” Ruststar purred, and then he mewed, “Cherrykit come forward with your sister. From this day on until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Cherrypaw.” Cherrypaw bristled from her knowledge of the river flooding and was about to leap up onto the high rock but cats Ruststar continued before she could talk. “Berrykit, from this day on until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Berrypaw.” Ruststar finished, then beckoned Orchidleaf and Splashtail forward. “Orchidleaf, you are known as a hunter with brilliant skills and a great strategic fighter. I hope you pass these skills on to Berrypaw.” Berrypaw turned to look at Orchidleaf, and the two she-cats touched noses before retreating into the crowd. “Splashtail, you are one of the best fighters in all of Riverclan, and you are known throughout the forest for your bravery. I hope you can pass these skills onto Cherrypaw.” He finished, and the two cats touched noses, then Cherrypaw sprang away and yowled, “Riverclan! We’re in grave danger! The river is flooding! We don-“ When a high pitched wail stopped Cherrypaw. Swinging her head toward the source, she saw Fawnriver scrabbling against the current of water rushing into the camp. “FLOOD!” many different cats yowled, but they all fell silent when they saw a large wave of brown water mixed with plants hurtling toward them.
END OF BOOK SPOILER!
- END OF BOOK SPOILER!:
- Random Chapter preview. WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! (Takes place near the end of fanfic)
Berrysplash, Riverclan, and the rest of the clans stood together, triumph lighting their eyes as the Dark Forest fled into the shadows. “We did it! We have defeated the darkness! Crookedstar! Now I can be with Frogleap! (AKA: Frogkit.) “ Berrysplash smiled, and looked at Frogleap, happiness glowing in her eyes. Stepping toward the tom, she walked delicately on the blood soaked ground. The silver tom’s eyes light up and he raced toward her from across the battle field. “Berrysplash!” he called, such love in his eyes, Berrysplash’s very heart seemed to stop. “Frogleap!” she cried, and began racing toward the tom. “Berrysplash! NO!” there was the familiar yowl, and suddenly she saw a dark musty blur racing toward her, its long, curved sharp claws outstretched toward her. “NOT HER!” Cherrysplash screamed, and lunging forward, racing toward her sister. Suddenly Berrysplash felt something pressing her away, and flinging her across the clearing. Berrysplash’s eyes opened wide as she saw Cherrysplash fighting fiercely with the leader of the Dark Forest, Badgersnarl. Berrysplash gasped as Badgersnarl’s claws swiped the air where Cherrysplash’s throat had been a second ago. Both of the cats were shrieking insults, making each other so angry it was hard to fight. “I…I won’t let my sister be harmed. Not for me…” Berrysplash murmured, glaring up at the moon. Frogleap stiffened, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop Berrysplash as she dashed across the clearing, her claws outstretched. Snarling, Berrysplash leapt up onto Badgersnarl’s back, clawing and kicking like a might storm. Badgersnarl clearly knew how to fight two enemies at once, so he sent Cherrysplash reeling with a blow to the head, and suddenly, Berrysplash was being crushed by the massive Badgersnarl. Chocking underneath him, she struggled to get free. Then suddenly she was pinned under him, his long hooked claws pressing into her throat, when it happened.
Cherrysplash’s head was throbbing fiercely, but she knew what she had to do. Summoning up every last scrap of her strength, Cherrysplash dove, knocking Berrysplash out from under Badgersnarl’s claws, and she landing under him. There was a flash of claw against the moon, a ripping noise, and of course, the blinding pain. Cherrysplash had been sliced open.
“NO!” Berrysplash screamed her voice horse. “CHERRYSPLASH!” she screamed her dying sisters name, when suddenly a dark brown blur was atop of Badgersnarl, shrieking. “Posionberry?!” Berrysplash gasped as her father attacked the black and white tom. Suddenly a gasping noise brought her attention back to her sister.
“YOU! KILLED! MY! BABY! GIRL!” Posionberry roared fury in his voice and eyes making Badgersnarl cower. “You will pay! YOU WILL SUFFER!” Posionberry roared again, his voice full of venom. Suddenly Badgersnarl was pinned down, and was staring into the eyes of his own son, Posionberry. “D.I.E.” Posionberry whispered, and then he bit down on Badgersnarl’s throat. The tom twitched rabidly, then when limp and faded, leaving a pool of blood. Posionberry turned and raced toward his daughters.
Berrysplash pressed her face into her dying sisters fur, and moaned. Sobs wrecked the cream she-cats body. “D-don’t go! I-I can’t do it! I-I can’t go o-on wi-without y-you.” She sobbed, tears streaking her face. “Crookedstar! Bring her back! Please!!! PLEASE DON’T LET HER DIE!!!” she screamed in her thoughts, franticly praying. “B-Berrysplash. D-don’t be afraid….be strong. For mom. For dad. For Frogleap, for the kits..” she coughed blood. “K-kits?!” Berrysplash stammered, and then she whimpered, “But you and I always dreamed of our kits growing up together! Now you’ll never have kits! “she wailed, but then her sister eyes, growing rapidly dimmer, flicked to a black and calico pelt. “P-please get a tom named Blackleaf, I need to tell him something..” her sisters eyes grew watery. But Blackleaf was already racing toward them. “Cherrysplash!” he cried, flinging himself on the dying she-cat, covering her face in licks. “NO! NO!! Don’t leave me!” he whimpered, and Berrysplash stared, they were mates! Her sister was mates with a Shadowclan cat! “I-I must…Now…good bye Blackleaf.. I will see you soon, my love..” Cherrysplash gasped, then her eyes closed and her chest stilled. “CHERRYSPLASH!” Blackleaf yowled, and continued to yowl his grief of his dead mate. Berrysplash pressed against Frogleap, and they nudged Blackleaf to his paws, and stared at the rising sun. ” It is a cherry dawn….” she thought, as they trio faced the next morning.
END OF BOOK ONE
Last edited by Iceshard on July 2nd 2012, 11:08; edited 6 times in total
Lilacstar- WindClan Leader
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Nice! A fanfic? When you've posted the prologue/chapter 1 tell me, so I ca review it!
Phoenixwing- RiverClan Warrior
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
And meee! I wanna read it! Just because I don't have the fancy Fanfiction reviewers color or badge, doesn't mean I can't! >.> *continues ranting*
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
I'm practically Berrykit (I made up her warrior name and me and Kitty payed at Berrykit and Cherrykit ), so I can read it!!!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Cool, I can't wait to read it! This will be my first review as a Fan-fic Reviewer! :O
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
PROLOUGE IS OUT!! READ IT AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Wow...it took me an Hour and a half to write this whole prolouge! x3 I hope you like it! :DDD
Wow...it took me an Hour and a half to write this whole prolouge! x3 I hope you like it! :DDD
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
I love the prolouge, Kitty!!! ;3
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
This is a very detailed and mysterious prologue, I like it! There of a couple of punctuation and capitalization errors, but nothing really bad. I suggest using paragraphs though, because that way it looks more organized. Also I think it would be better to say, "Two with a destiny like no others will rise to save the Clans" instead of "Two will rise to save the Clans with a destiny like no other"
Other than those little details though, it's great! Can't wait for Chapter 1!
Other than those little details though, it's great! Can't wait for Chapter 1!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
The prophecy was fine, there's nothing wrong with the way she worded it. Just because it's unusual, doesn't mean it's wrong.
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Just a few things I noticed:
- "it’s hollow amber eyes locking on Crookedstar, making his fur bristle." "It's" should be "its".
- " "Clan against clan in the darkest hour, two will rise to save the clans in a destiny like no other." There should be only one quotation mark.
- " ”Hurry Crookedstar, time’s almost up..” The" You forgot a period
-Remember to put spaces in between your punctuation and your next words
- Try not to use the same word a lot in one sentence, or the story at all
This is a great story! I love the plot so far. I wonder when we'll hear from Cherrysplash and Berrysplash... Good job, Kitty!
Phoenix: My other post was 24 hours or longer ago
- "it’s hollow amber eyes locking on Crookedstar, making his fur bristle." "It's" should be "its".
- " "Clan against clan in the darkest hour, two will rise to save the clans in a destiny like no other." There should be only one quotation mark.
- " ”Hurry Crookedstar, time’s almost up..” The" You forgot a period
-Remember to put spaces in between your punctuation and your next words
- Try not to use the same word a lot in one sentence, or the story at all
This is a great story! I love the plot so far. I wonder when we'll hear from Cherrysplash and Berrysplash... Good job, Kitty!
Phoenix: My other post was 24 hours or longer ago
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Waiiiiiiiiit... There's a rule like that on double posting???
And yeah that's what I noticed for the punctuation errors
I especially like the beginning my English teacher is big on vivid verbs and sersory imagery XD
And yeah that's what I noticed for the punctuation errors
I especially like the beginning my English teacher is big on vivid verbs and sersory imagery XD
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
UPDATED!
CHapter 1 is now up!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Chapter one is very good, though I think you may be able to add just a bit more detail. Here some thingsI noticed:
"If you choose" not "if you chose"
"Berrykit screamed, struggling to her paws but something has snaked around them." might be better phrased as "Berrykit screamed and struggled to stand up, but something snaked around her."
And also I didn't really understand it when you said, "But for some reason…I fell like you, Cherrykit will somehow protect me in a way I can’t ever do for you.."
Otherwise, it's awesome! I love the metaphor "fraud of a safe dream." Keep up the good work!
"If you choose" not "if you chose"
"Berrykit screamed, struggling to her paws but something has snaked around them." might be better phrased as "Berrykit screamed and struggled to stand up, but something snaked around her."
And also I didn't really understand it when you said, "But for some reason…I fell like you, Cherrykit will somehow protect me in a way I can’t ever do for you.."
Otherwise, it's awesome! I love the metaphor "fraud of a safe dream." Keep up the good work!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
I love it! I can't wait for you to post more!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
It's awesome! Love it.
But it's supposed to be "thought" in the first sentence. And I believe "Berrykit screamed, struggling to her paws but something has snaked around them." is supposed to be "was". Just a simple type-o. You need to consider that when you're reviewing, Maplestream. "But for some reason…I fell like you, Cherrykit will somehow protect me in a way I can’t ever do for you.." It's supposed to be "feel", and there should be two comma's surrounding Cherrykit. But other than that, I see nothing wrong that hasn't been pointed out.
But it's supposed to be "thought" in the first sentence. And I believe "Berrykit screamed, struggling to her paws but something has snaked around them." is supposed to be "was". Just a simple type-o. You need to consider that when you're reviewing, Maplestream. "But for some reason…I fell like you, Cherrykit will somehow protect me in a way I can’t ever do for you.." It's supposed to be "feel", and there should be two comma's surrounding Cherrykit. But other than that, I see nothing wrong that hasn't been pointed out.
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Thanks. I know I have alot of type-o's, but it because I rush through my story now, But updates will be showing soon!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Just ignore Maplestream. I love the plot!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
... But I'm a Fanfic Reviewer! :|
And you should take your time working on it. I know it will be great!
And you should take your time working on it. I know it will be great!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
I was joking. I'm sure she spends a lot of time on it, it's so good!
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Oh you two will give me a headache!
Well, thanks for all the support you guys! <3
Well, thanks for all the support you guys! <3
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
POSTED the last chapter preview, I will edit it to make it more dramatic when the time comes.
Next, comes chapter 2. Peace out, got some writing to do!
~Iceshard.
(Shard.)
Next, comes chapter 2. Peace out, got some writing to do!
~Iceshard.
(Shard.)
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
Nice ending. Already very dramatic! I've noticed some things that you may consider changing.
-Warrior cats may not know what "baby" is, much less the word "girl". You may think about tweaking that a bit.
-In the sentence, "the tom twitched rabidly..."; I assume that you meant 'rapidly', not 'rabidly'
-Also, in he last sentence, I believe that "they" is supposed to be "the"
Other then those, I also suggest not using all-caps on some sentences. Stressing the noise and feelings in actual words may be more effective, and sophisticated. I may have missed somethings, and I apologize. It is difficult to do anything on my Kindle browser. Keep on writing, Ice! (Oh, and I do suggest proofreading after writing a Chapter.[
-Warrior cats may not know what "baby" is, much less the word "girl". You may think about tweaking that a bit.
-In the sentence, "the tom twitched rabidly..."; I assume that you meant 'rapidly', not 'rabidly'
-Also, in he last sentence, I believe that "they" is supposed to be "the"
Other then those, I also suggest not using all-caps on some sentences. Stressing the noise and feelings in actual words may be more effective, and sophisticated. I may have missed somethings, and I apologize. It is difficult to do anything on my Kindle browser. Keep on writing, Ice! (Oh, and I do suggest proofreading after writing a Chapter.[
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
i think you've made a good effort with the descriptions, just be careful where the commas go. the names sound good; they're not too unrealistic like Bittenalligator or something and they fit RiverClan's persona (look at me, i don't even know what that word means. i'm such a hypocrite ).
also, i'm not sure how much you edit your work, but you do repeat some things for example, in the prologue, the description of hollow, amber eyes appears twice in the same paragraph.
i quite like the personality of the black spirit in the prologue
also, i'm not sure how much you edit your work, but you do repeat some things for example, in the prologue, the description of hollow, amber eyes appears twice in the same paragraph.
i quite like the personality of the black spirit in the prologue
Caraway- Global Moderator
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Re: The Cherry and Berry Destiny!
I can't read it because I'm on my phone, bug I'm sure its awesome. :3
Legendflower- Loner
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