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Honeyshade

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Post by Honeyshade April 28th 2013, 00:04

Honeyshade Title239493189_zpse82230ac
Honeyshade of RiverClan
Cat Name: Honeyshade
Gender: Female
Age: 20 Moons
Favorite Warriors Characters: Jayfeather,HollyLeaf,Mistystar,Cinderpelt,BlueStar
Appearance: Honeyshade is a slim she-cat with short length fur. Her pelt is a pale ginger color that is fluffy with a bristle like tail. Her eyes are bright green and stand out a lot. She has strong hind legs that make her an excellent swimmer.
Personality: Honeyshade is a serious and determined cat who is loyal to her clan. She has a very sweet and kind character and is willing to help any cat out. She may seem too sweet and is often seen as an naive cat .Honeyshade is also a very passionate cat and sticks to what she believes is right. She can be very bold at times and jump into things without thinking.
Special Traits:
Good Swimmer
Weaknesses:
Hunting
Helping Others
Family:
SilverClaw (Father,Deceased)
Gingerpool(Mother)
CloudStorm(Brother)
DappleShine (Sister)
History/Origins: Honeysahde's father, SilverClaw, was a loyal warrior river clan. Her mother was a loner that used to belong to twoleg owners not far away from Riverclan territory.The she-cat had wanted to join Riverclan but that proved to be tough to accept a loner into the clan. Honeyshade's mother began to take the name Gingerpool and abandon her old name. Many moons later, Honeyshade and her siblings were born into Riverclan. The kits grew fast into apprentices as they soon began to get mentors. Honeyshade got to soon meet her mentor, OakWhisper. Oakwhisper was a stubborn tom with a determined attitude. The two never really got along at first, being complete opposites. Often at times Honeyshade was scolded for being to kind, and discovered her weakness of being to helpful to anyone. Honeyshade at the time didn't take her apprenticeship seriously, until one event changed the young she-cat. Her father was killed by foxes while protecting Riverclan. Honeyshade was now determined more to become a stronger warrior. Over the course of her apprenticeship with Oakwhisper, Honeyshade became a serious and determined cat who was loyal to the warrior code. Now many moons later, Honeyshade is finally a warrior.


Last edited by Honeyshade on July 29th 2013, 23:58; edited 10 times in total
Honeyshade
Honeyshade
RiverClan Warrior
RiverClan Warrior

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Post by Frost April 28th 2013, 00:20

Hello Honeyshade, that's a pretty nice character sheet so far. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of it! (:
Frost
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Post by Caraway April 28th 2013, 08:11

I like I so far. Very Happy There aren't any spelling mistakes tht I can see. There are just some grammatical errors:

Her eyes are bright green that just stands out.
Her eyes are bright green and stand out a lot.
Honeyshade is a serious and determined cat that is loyal to her clan.
Honeyshade is a serious and determined cat who is loyal to her Clan.
She may seem too sweet to see as a naïve cat.

[I don't think sweetness makes you a person who's not naïve, of that was the intention]
Honeyshade is also a very passionate cat and sticks to what she knows are right.
Honeyshade is also a very passionate cat and sticks to what she believes is right.

Those are my suggestions, though it is your character sheet so it isn't my place to tell you to use them. Overall there were some great details in there and I'd like to see some more soon Very Happy Pictures are an easy addition as well ^-^
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Post by Honeyshade April 28th 2013, 10:52

CheeseStar wrote:I like I so far. Very Happy There aren't any spelling mistakes tht I can see. There are just some grammatical errors:

Her eyes are bright green that just stands out.
Her eyes are bright green and stand out a lot.
Honeyshade is a serious and determined cat that is loyal to her clan.
Honeyshade is a serious and determined cat who is loyal to her Clan.
She may seem too sweet to see as a naïve cat.

[I don't think sweetness makes you a person who's not naïve, of that was the intention]
Honeyshade is also a very passionate cat and sticks to what she knows are right.
Honeyshade is also a very passionate cat and sticks to what she believes is right.

Those are my suggestions, though it is your character sheet so it isn't my place to tell you to use them. Overall there were some great details in there and I'd like to see some more soon Very Happy Pictures are an easy addition as well ^-^

Thank you so much, I'll fix this.
Honeyshade
Honeyshade
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Post by Sparrowfire April 28th 2013, 13:10

Nice character, Honeyshade! I like the picture that you found of your cat and you have an amazing history! I like that names that you created! Very Happy
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Post by Illusion April 28th 2013, 18:25

That is exceptional for a first timer...If you even are one! However, I would suggest you use the period less, and replace some with a comma. Maybe add some pictures, and even make the headings stand out a bit!

Those are my suggestions, but you could reject them if you want. I love your character!
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