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The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)

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Post by Illusion December 29th 2012, 13:22

Please note that I have absolutely no experience, so don't be surprised if you find a typo or two! Wave


Have you ever wondered what would happen if Thistleclaw weren't evil? Bluestar wouldn't have given her kits to RiverClan, and Thistleclaw will become Thistlestar. Tigerstar would have been leader of ThunderClan, since he didn't Try to murder Bluestar...oh well, I don't want to spoil it for you!

Prologue:

our new deputy:




Last edited by Doveshine on January 7th 2013, 16:00; edited 4 times in total
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Post by Icestar January 1st 2013, 16:35

I really liked the dramatic beginning Very Happy Can't wait for the rest of the chapter!
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Post by Illusion January 1st 2013, 16:38

Thnx for reading, Icestar! Chapter 1 is 50-60% done!
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Post by Redstar January 1st 2013, 16:41

This is really good. Don't stop!!!
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Post by Streamstar January 1st 2013, 19:53

I really like this so far! Keep writing!
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Post by Thunderclaw January 1st 2013, 20:16

It's great.Can't wait for the rest
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Post by Illusion January 1st 2013, 20:37

Thanks! Well, I need a better plot...I have events scattered around like, Tigerstar really loved Goldenflower, Mistyfoot, Stonefur, and Mossheart being in ThunderClan, Ravenfrost being able to have his warrior name, Firestar not being in the clan, and so on.

I am also planning a sequel, and don't know what it should be called. Please help!
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Post by Ren January 1st 2013, 21:33

I like it. Write more soon, Doveshine!!!!!!
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Post by Guest January 4th 2013, 22:13

It's terrible! Stop writing!!!!! OMG


JUST KIDDING Troll
It's awesome!!!!! Great job trolololol
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Post by Phoenixflare January 4th 2013, 23:29

Wow! It's really good! Please write more!
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Post by Bramblesky January 5th 2013, 09:43

yeah that's amazing. like i am hungry for more.
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Post by Illusion January 5th 2013, 17:07

I'm sorry chapter 1 will be a bit late! Sweat But do remember that I'm still writing it!
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Post by Hazelstar January 6th 2013, 15:11

Keep writing! You have great potential, and a nice flow! I'm a huge writer myself, and I love reading other peoples work!
So... Keep up at the great work! Love it.
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Post by Phoenixflare January 6th 2013, 18:11

I'd really like to be a writer but I've never had time. This is one of the best prologes that I've ever red.
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Post by Illusion January 7th 2013, 16:03

Chapter 1 is done.

our new deputy:

I'm sorry that it's short. It doesn't have a good ending, either. I'll try to do better on other chapters! Wink
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Post by Phoenixflare January 7th 2013, 20:31

No, no, it's fine. That's really good! Keep up the good work! Thumbs Up
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Post by Guest January 8th 2013, 16:28

It's a very interesting story plot. ^^ If you added more detail into your short chapters, you can probably make them longer! Describe their surroundings more! Keep up the good work.
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