The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
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Thunderclaw
Streamstar
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Icestar
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The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Please note that I have absolutely no experience, so don't be surprised if you find a typo or two!
Have you ever wondered what would happen if Thistleclaw weren't evil? Bluestar wouldn't have given her kits to RiverClan, and Thistleclaw will become Thistlestar. Tigerstar would have been leader of ThunderClan, since he didn't Try to murder Bluestar...oh well, I don't want to spoil it for you!
Have you ever wondered what would happen if Thistleclaw weren't evil? Bluestar wouldn't have given her kits to RiverClan, and Thistleclaw will become Thistlestar. Tigerstar would have been leader of ThunderClan, since he didn't Try to murder Bluestar...oh well, I don't want to spoil it for you!
- Prologue:
- Tigerstar watched helplessly as the monsters ripped through the trees. His clan was hopeless, and their home was being destroyed! Longtail, his deputy, was trying to escape a twoleg tree-eater. “To me, ThunderClan!” He yowled. “Go to Sunningrocks!” Tigerstar knew that going to Sunningrocks would be their only chance of survival, but will they make it? He watched as ThunderClan disappeared through the remaing trees, taking the path to Sunningrocks. Spottedleaf tried to pack her herbs, but a monster roared from behind her. “Leave them!” Tigerstar yowled. Spottedleaf began to protest, but Tigerstar cut her off. “We can’t risk losing you! LEAVE THEM!”
The clan had reached Sunningrocks. Tigerstar looked through the camp, searching for his mate. Suddenly, Brambleclaw burst out: “Tigerstar! The twolegs! They’ve got Goldenflower!” Tigerstar’s eyes widened in horror, but Brambleclaw continued. “And Tawnypelt had disappeared!” Tigerstar shook his head. “What could be worse than this.” He sighed. His clan was dying, right in front of him. ThunderClan was hopeless. NO! Cried a voice deep inside him. Tigerstar, don’t you dare give up hope! StarClan will always be watching you! He recognized the voice. Thistlestar! Why of course he would never give up hope! “ThunderClan! Don’t give up!” Yowled Tigerstar. ThunderClan will survive.
The wind blew as Tigerstar wandered into StarClan territory. The leaves rustled, and the moon glowed. “Tigerstar.” Whispered a voice in the trees.
“Who’s there?”
“Tigerstar.” The voice whispered again. Then, a cat appeared from the trees.
“Thistlestar!” Tigerstar exclaimed. “What must you tell me?”
“The clans must find a new home.”
Tigerstar’s eyes widened in shock. “How?”
“Four cats will return, and show you the way.” Thistlestar mewed.
Then, his image started to fade.
“Wait! Who are these four cats? Where will our home be? When will they come?”
“Wake up, Tigerstar!” Tigerstar heard Longtail’s mew. Tigerstar lept onto his feet. “What happened?” “I have good news and bad news.” Longtail began. “Good news is, we saved Goldenflower.” Tigerstar nodded as Longtail continued. “But the monsters have come closer.” Tigerstar gasped. “Is there any trouble?” Longtail’s eyes darkend. “Fourtrees is gone.” Tigerstar closed his eyes. “So many generations has passed. How can we cope without Fourtrees?” Longtail shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Tigerstar went out to the forest, his mind whirling with the thoughts of Fourtrees being destroyed. He had insisted on going hunting, despite the weather. His nose pricked as he caught s whiff of mouse. Good luck, He thought. Suddenly, the mouse came to sight. A miracle that it would come out in this rain, but it did. Tigerstar’s heart sank as he saw that it was scrawny., but lowered into a hunting crouch anyway. All of a sudden, a monster roared from behind him. What would a monster be doing in such weather? No time to think, the monster came into sight immediately. Tigerstar yowled in horror. The monster chased him to the bare Fourtrees. Tigerstar tried to gain speed, but he wasn’t fast enough. The monster’s claw scratched his tail. Tigerstar tried to run, but it was too fast for him. Soon, he would be dead. Blood oozed from his hindquarters, and he collapsed.
Tigerstar woke up in StarClan’s hunting grounds, and Thistlestar appeared behind him. “W-where am I?” Tigerstar stammered. “You are in StarClan. Now you have to heal.
“I’m dead, am I?”
Thislestar’s eyes darkend. “Yes.”
Tigerstar stammered again. “Thistlestar, I-I’m s-so sorry th-that I failed the cl-clan.”
“You were brave.” Mewed Thistlestar. “And now you shall have the honour of joining StarClan.”
Tigerstar nodded. “I will serve my clan even if it means a second death.”
“You can say as much as you want tomorrow, but not now. You must rest.”
Tigerstar closed his eyes. “Very well.”
- our new deputy:
- Tawnyspots had died. Now, Sunstar must choose a new deputy before moonhigh. Thistleclaw was still grieving for his dead mate, Snowfur, but he wanted to become deputy really bad. what better way is there to serve the clan besides becoming deputy, he thought. Bluefur’s kits, Mosskit, Mistykit, and Stonekit tumbled out of the nursery. “Who’s Sunstar gonna choose to be our new deputy?” squealed Mosskit. “I don’t know.” Bluefur replied. “Everyone’s looking at Thistleclaw.” Thistleclaw loved the way Bluefur supported him.
Thistleclaw padded out of the warriors’ den. Tigerclaw, his former apprentice, followed him. In the main clearing, everyone talked about who’s gonna become the new deputy.
“Who knows, perhaps Adderfang will remain, this time as the permanent deputy.”
“What if Sunstar preffered youth to experience?”
“What? Are you talking about Lionheart?”
“I’m actually thinking of Thistleclaw.”
Thistleclaw winced as he heard his name. Will I be the new deputy? he wondered. Thisleclaw took a vole from the fresh kill pile, his mind whirling with thoughts. StarClan, was I really ment to be ThunderClan’s deputy?
“Let all cats old enough to hunt gather under the Highrock for a clan meeting!” Thisleclaw’s fur prickled with exitment as he heard Sunstar’s yowl. All the cats gathered around the rock with jubilant murmurs. Stonekit, Mistykit, and Mosskit ran out of the nursery and sat beside Thrushpelt. “Sunstar’s gonna announce the new deputy!” Sqealed Mosskit. “I bet it’s going to be Thistleclaw!”
Sunstar continued his speech. “We are all familiar with the retirement of Tawnyspots.” Sad murmurs rippled through the camp. “But ThunerClan must go on. I have decided on who will become the new deputy.” There was a silence, then Sunstar spoke. “Thistleclaw, you will serve the clan alongside me.” Cheers erupted from the clan, and everyone caterwauled: “Thistleclaw! Thistleclaw!” Sunstar lept from the Highrock.
Bluefur was the first cat to approach Thistleclaw. “Congratulations!” She purred. “I knew you could do it!” Her kits crowded around Thistleclaw, mewling. In a heartbeat, everyone was congratulating Thistleclaw. Thisleclaw yawned. “Thanks, but I think I’ll go get some sleep.”
***
Thistleclaw woke with a start, suddenly remembering that he was the new deputy. I’m gonna orgagnize the dawn patrol! he thought excitedly. Thistleclaw immediatly padded to the main clearing and began saying orders. “Whitestorm, take Tigerclaw, Goldenflower, and Rosetail to check near the Thunderpath..” With a pang, Thisleclaw remembered the day his mate, Snowfur, died. Bluefur said they were chasing ShadowClan warriors out of ThunderClan territory. Why did they have to intrude? That led Snowfur to her death!
Later that day, Thistleclaw decided to visit Tawnyspots. He was still in the medicine cat den, his cough not getting better. The medicine cat apprentice, Spottedpaw, was busy sorting herbs. Then, she looked up. “Are you here to visit Tawnyspots?” She mewed calmly. “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible at the moment Thistleclaw sighed, and padded out of the medicine cat den.
Last edited by Doveshine on January 7th 2013, 16:00; edited 4 times in total
Illusion- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
I really liked the dramatic beginning Can't wait for the rest of the chapter!
Icestar- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Thnx for reading, Icestar! Chapter 1 is 50-60% done!
Illusion- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
This is really good. Don't stop!!!
Redstar- ShadowClan Leader
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
I really like this so far! Keep writing!
Streamstar- RiverClan Leader
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
It's great.Can't wait for the rest
Thunderclaw- WindClan Warrior
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Thanks! Well, I need a better plot...I have events scattered around like, Tigerstar really loved Goldenflower, Mistyfoot, Stonefur, and Mossheart being in ThunderClan, Ravenfrost being able to have his warrior name, Firestar not being in the clan, and so on.
I am also planning a sequel, and don't know what it should be called. Please help!
I am also planning a sequel, and don't know what it should be called. Please help!
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
I like it. Write more soon, Doveshine!!!!!!
Ren- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
It's terrible! Stop writing!!!!! OMG
JUST KIDDING
It's awesome!!!!! Great job trolololol
JUST KIDDING
It's awesome!!!!! Great job trolololol
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Wow! It's really good! Please write more!
Phoenixflare- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
yeah that's amazing. like i am hungry for more.
Bramblesky- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
I'm sorry chapter 1 will be a bit late! But do remember that I'm still writing it!
Illusion- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Keep writing! You have great potential, and a nice flow! I'm a huge writer myself, and I love reading other peoples work!
So... Keep up at the great work! Love it.
So... Keep up at the great work! Love it.
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
I'd really like to be a writer but I've never had time. This is one of the best prologes that I've ever red.
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
Chapter 1 is done.
I'm sorry that it's short. It doesn't have a good ending, either. I'll try to do better on other chapters!
- our new deputy:
- Tawnyspots had died. Now, Sunstar must choose a new deputy before moonhigh. Thistleclaw was still grieving for his dead mate, Snowfur, but he wanted to become deputy really bad. what better way is there to serve the clan besides becoming deputy, he thought. Bluefur’s kits, Mosskit, Mistykit, and Stonekit tumbled out of the nursery. “Who’s Sunstar gonna choose to be our new deputy?” squealed Mosskit. “I don’t know.” Bluefur replied. “Everyone’s looking at Thistleclaw.” Thistleclaw loved the way Bluefur supported him.
Thistleclaw padded out of the warriors’ den. Tigerclaw, his former apprentice, followed him. In the main clearing, everyone talked about who’s gonna become the new deputy.
“Who knows, perhaps Adderfang will remain, this time as the permanent deputy.”
“What if Sunstar preffered youth to experience?”
“What? Are you talking about Lionheart?”
“I’m actually thinking of Thistleclaw.”
Thistleclaw winced as he heard his name. Will I be the new deputy? he wondered. Thisleclaw took a vole from the fresh kill pile, his mind whirling with thoughts. StarClan, was I really ment to be ThunderClan’s deputy?
“Let all cats old enough to hunt gather under the Highrock for a clan meeting!” Thisleclaw’s fur prickled with exitment as he heard Sunstar’s yowl. All the cats gathered around the rock with jubilant murmurs. Stonekit, Mistykit, and Mosskit ran out of the nursery and sat beside Thrushpelt. “Sunstar’s gonna announce the new deputy!” Sqealed Mosskit. “I bet it’s going to be Thistleclaw!”
Sunstar continued his speech. “We are all familiar with the retirement of Tawnyspots.” Sad murmurs rippled through the camp. “But ThunerClan must go on. I have decided on who will become the new deputy.” There was a silence, then Sunstar spoke. “Thistleclaw, you will serve the clan alongside me.” Cheers erupted from the clan, and everyone caterwauled: “Thistleclaw! Thistleclaw!” Sunstar lept from the Highrock.
Bluefur was the first cat to approach Thistleclaw. “Congratulations!” She purred. “I knew you could do it!” Her kits crowded around Thistleclaw, mewling. In a heartbeat, everyone was congratulating Thistleclaw. Thisleclaw yawned. “Thanks, but I think I’ll go get some sleep.”
***
Thistleclaw woke with a start, suddenly remembering that he was the new deputy. I’m gonna orgagnize the dawn patrol! he thought excitedly. Thistleclaw immediatly padded to the main clearing and began saying orders. “Whitestorm, take Tigerclaw, Goldenflower, and Rosetail to check near the Thunderpath..” With a pang, Thisleclaw remembered the day his mate, Snowfur, died. Bluefur said they were chasing ShadowClan warriors out of ThunderClan territory. Why did they have to intrude? That led Snowfur to her death!
Later that day, Thistleclaw decided to visit Tawnyspots. He was still in the medicine cat den, his cough not getting better. The medicine cat apprentice, Spottedpaw, was busy sorting herbs. Then, she looked up. “Are you here to visit Tawnyspots?” She mewed calmly. “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible at the moment Thistleclaw sighed, and padded out of the medicine cat den.
I'm sorry that it's short. It doesn't have a good ending, either. I'll try to do better on other chapters!
Illusion- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
No, no, it's fine. That's really good! Keep up the good work!
Phoenixflare- Loner
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Re: The Difference (Chapter 1: Our new deputy)
It's a very interesting story plot. ^^ If you added more detail into your short chapters, you can probably make them longer! Describe their surroundings more! Keep up the good work.
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