Fortune Cookies! :D

First topic message reminder :

Just an idea, and I've learned that when I spontaneously generate ideas, they don't always work. Anyways, LET'S TRY THIS!
So you know those little strips of paper in fortune cookies? Well on this topic you make them! The fortunes can be Warriors related, or anything random and funny! You can even include a "Learn Chinese" if you want, or learn any other language.

The template:
Audience:
Fortune:

So for example...

A Warriors fortune
Audience: Crowfeather
Fortune: You will fall in love with three different cats :O

A random fortune
Audience: Anyone
Fortune: HELP HELP GET ME OUT OF THIS FACTORY!!!

Enjoy creating and reading these!

Audience: Cheesestar
Fortune: WE have the giant carnivorous red eyed rabbit that almost killed the dwarves. (story told in Inheritance by Angela ) You will be crushed by rabhits.

AUDIENCE: RiverClan
FORTUNE: Lies. Lies.

Audience: Sorrelstar
Fortune: We may lie, but you wll be crushed anyways! (:<

AUDIENCE: Anyone
FORTUNE: You will be teased for not having swagger.

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: Your Clan will be attacked first because you have a swagger.

AUDIENCE: Maplestream
FORTUNE: RiverClan will fail because of you.

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: ThunderClan is doomed because of you.

Audience: Maplestream
Fortune: You are doomed for insulting my Taco Budy.

AUDIENCE: Maplestream
FORTUNE: You will be laughed at. By Swaggerclaw.

Audience: ThunderClan
Fortune: World domination is making great progress! Beware, for you shall be first because of your swagga and smexyness. Bunny Army Status: Legion 83kappa requires more diapers.

Audience: Riverclan/ Maplestream/ Buuny Army
Fortune: Your Bunny Army will fall at my feet for they shall fall in love with my smexiness. Then I will turn them against you! >:3

Audience: Smexyfur
Fortune: Your plan will fail because your 'smexiness' isn't strong enough for the steriod-instilled army

AUDIENCE: Brightstar
FORTUNE: You will lie on a fortune of the past.

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: Unfortunately, none of your fortunes will succeed on the RiverClan leader. Please try again in 1000 years.

AUDIENCE: Brightstar
FORTUNE: ERROR #456: You cannot put lies on fortune's. ERROR #467: "Swaggerclaw" has to much swagga for you to give fortune's like that.

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: ERROR #728: Brightstar's Awsomeness overrides your last two errors.

AUDIENCE: Streamfur
FORTUNE: You will have to stand up for your leader because she can't stand up for herself.

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: ERROR #314159: You may not pick on Streamfur. Her deputy position-generated awesomeness overrides your right to pick on her.

Audience:Everyone but Thunderclan
Fortune:All your fortunes will fail

Audience: ThunderClan
Fortune: ERROR#827 Your fortunes will never come true so others' fortunes will come true

Audience: Swaggerclaw
Fortune: Your simple warrior status is overriden by my leader status, so I may insult you, and you cannot insult me. :3

Audience: Everyone
Fortune: SUMMER IS HERE AWWWW YEAH

Audience: CheeseStar
Fortune: You will become a semi-student of Darkfire. :O

Audience: Brightstar
Fortune: Whoops, that may or may not have happened already. xP You will be one too!

Audience: Thunderclaw
Fortune: Once again, the extremely epic Maplestream has bested you and she shall continue to do so for the rest of your life! XD

audience:Maplestream
fortune:You will lie on all your previous fortunes and future fortunes.This is no lie