Fortune Cookies! :D

First topic message reminder :

Just an idea, and I've learned that when I spontaneously generate ideas, they don't always work. Anyways, LET'S TRY THIS!
So you know those little strips of paper in fortune cookies? Well on this topic you make them! The fortunes can be Warriors related, or anything random and funny! You can even include a "Learn Chinese" if you want, or learn any other language.

The template:
Audience:
Fortune:

So for example...

A Warriors fortune
Audience: Crowfeather
Fortune: You will fall in love with three different cats :O

A random fortune
Audience: Anyone
Fortune: HELP HELP GET ME OUT OF THIS FACTORY!!!

Enjoy creating and reading these!

No the joke was that what the fortune would be

Audience: RiverClan
Fortune: fffft. SkyClan will crush you even more!

Ohh lol Brightstar forgot to include SkyClan, haha
Audience: Everyone
Fortune: RUN RUN SKYCLAN WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

Audience: Everyone
Fortune: AwesomeClan is currently gone fishing. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please leave them in the mailbox located at the main entrance. We will reply in a moon or so. Any gifts of food must be preserved or you will be preserved. Thank you and sorry for any inconvenience.

Audience: Every Clan
Fortune: RiverClan is going to rule the world, dominating everyone. They will crush anyone who will stand in their path, as easily as a bear crushes an ant. SkyClan will recieve more attention because it tried to rule the world before. Fortunately, that will not happen. What will happen is that Brightstar and her warriors will become the rulars of this world. Rebels will die. IceClan will stand with RiverClan, while Dragonclaw helps eat the remains. We apologize for any inconvenience during World Domination.

AUDIENCE: RiverClan and followers
FORTUNE: and we rebel~

Audience: ShadowClan
Fortune: Unfortunately, you will all be dead after World Domination is completed.

Audience: RiverClan and followers
Fortune: Give me liberty or give me death

Audience: ShadowClan
Fortune: You will be given death.

Audience: RiverClan and followers
Fortune: At least I shall be free

Audience: RiverClan and IceClan (and Dragonclaw, i guess)
Fortune: We're still gone so if you want to dominate the world, please wait until after the vacation.

Wowww lol Cheesy
Audience: Brightstar
Fortune: Never fear, for you shall achieve your goal someday! Rabbits and vegetables have already submitted. Maplestream is preparing to help. BUNNY ARMY STATUS: Well trained, but overfed on steroids. Oh well. They're buff

Audience: Everyone
Fortune: World Domination is in progress. Riverclan has already crushed Grassclan, Marsclan, Cloudclan, Invisibleclan, Pinkclan, and the Tribe of thisisnotclan. You have not heard of them or know anyone from them because we destroyed them already.

AUDIENCE: RiverClan and followers
FORTUNE: We are so scared //sarcasm//

Audience: Shadowclan
Fortune:You should be. We are preparing the bunny army for battle. General Cottontail and General Pinknose are preparing the army at this very moment.

Audience: All except RiverClan
Fortune: Prepare to be crushed! The stated preparations have been made. General Vegetable Carrothead, human name Jason Tsai, is also preparing his army of brainy human vegetables. Weapons: cannibalism, perfect spelling and grammar, stalkers. NOTIFICATION: Legion 6alpha of Bunnies requires more steroids!

Audience: RiverClan and such
Fortune: well we will have Hazel and Fiver from Watership Down on our side > they're super rabbits

audience:riverclan
fortune:riverclan you ruined my life

Audience:Riverclan
Fortune:The other clans will DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!!! :cyborg:

Audience: Thunderclaw
Fortune: Pssh, that will never happen. You see, we are already marching toward your camp. We have destroyed DarkClan and FrostClan on the way also. They have been crushed as a giant crushes an ant. There are no survivors. Bunny Army Status: has been given more steriods; training.

Audience: Lionclaw
Fortune: You are welcome. We shall continue immediately.

Audience: Everyone
Fortune: You shall all be crushed very soon. Preparations commencing. Cannibalism training on Level 2.71, shall be completed in the near future. Steroid Level green, Level 3.14. Bunny Army Status: excretion hour. Have left for the dung heap to relieve themselves. Vegetable Status: idle. General Vegetable requires another dictionary.


I just fell out of my chair laughing, because I was imaginng myself say all that in a monotone computer generated voice

Audience: Everyone
Fortune: The kittypets have surrended and agreed to form an army after we threatened to take away their catnip and treats. They are currently training. Bunny Army Status: Legion 8alpha has been sent to eat all the herbs of the other clans and tribes who are not with us. Herb shortages are expected soon. Kittypet Army Status: Commander Muffins has brought a dictionary to General Vegetable. Kittypets have gathered useful twoleg items and are currently trying to convince pet dogs to join us.

AUDIENCE RiverClan and Followers
FORTUNE We have a whale. Who is a ninja. Beat that

Audience: ShadowClan
Fortunes: RiverClan has a killer whale and a husky. :3

Audience RiverClan and followers
Fortune Orcas are dolphins, not whales. And we also have a giraffe. Who knows Japanese.

Audience: ShadowClan
Fortune: Pssh you have none of those things. They are made of your imagination. And orcas are also called killer whales, dolphin or no.