The Clan that was different

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Here's a new fanfiction that I'm working on! Its totally EPIC Have a laugh!

Warning: Do not drink water while reading this.


The Clan that was different

“Are we there yet?”

Berrynose whined from behind as the ThunderClan patrol maneuvered their way through the woods.

Brambleclaw, who was leading, was in a very bad mood. Earlier on, he had unknowingly tangled his right leg in a thistle bush. It had taken ages before he had finally yanked his badly scratched leg, at the same time, accidentally scraping of some of his leg fur. Now, he had one smoothly shaved right leg.

He let out a hiss of annoyance and snapped,” This is the fifty-sixth time you’re asking that question! The answer is no! EpicClan is nowhere in sight!”

As he spoke, the bushes beside them rustled and the strangest looking cat walked out.

His coat was a mixture of white, gray, silver, black, ginger and brown. His ears were tufted and on his head rested a halo of borage leaves, stringed together.

Jayfeather bristled in alarm and a gasp escaped from his throat. He blurted,” I smell borage leaves!”

“Ahh,” The stranger mewed, his jaws agape in mock surprise,” It seems that your nose is working properly!”

“Borage leaves are consumed by nursing Queens to increase available milk!” Jayfeather replied indignantly, looking aghast.

“Mmm…” The stranger hummed, drowning out Jayfeather’s words, pretending that he didn’t heard anything. He cleared his throat and introduced himself,” I am Epicmoon, the leader of EpicClan!”

“Epicmoon? That isn’t a proper leader’s name at all!” Cloudtail had a look of disgust on his face, taking a few steps back as though he was a contagious disease and edging closer to Brightheart.

“StarClan couldn’t stand the ways of EpicClan and refused our existence. We had to leave Fourtrees and live here. My deputy had suggested me to completely change the ways of our Clan. So the opposite of “star” would be “moon”, am I right?” Epicmoon beamed, looking pleased with his own speech.

“I suppose so…” Cloudtail grunted reluctantly.

“Shall we now proceed to EpicClan’s camp?” Epicmoon offered, gazing at the ThunderClan cats one by one. His eyes were finally riveted on Brightheart, who blushed deeply.

“Ahh, mademoiselle! You are so beautiful beyond the stars – I mean moons!” His eyes shined as he dipped his head in greeting.

Brightheart looked as though she would die of embarrassment and Cloudtail stepped in front of her, his eyes narrowed into furious slits. “She’s my mate! Stay away from her!”

Brambleclaw pushed him aside and forced a smile on his face. “Shall we make our way to your camp?”

When they entered EpicClan’s camp, Brambleclaw glanced around. It just seemed… normal. I wonder what’s so different about this Clan, he thought.

“Meet my deputy, Moonface!” Epicmoon flicked his tail towards the round-faced white tom next to him.

“I now see why your deputy suggested to end leader’s names with “moon”,” Cloudtail muttered under his breath.

“Moonmoon?” Brambleclaw couldn’t help giggling and the EpicClan deputy gave him a withering glare.

“Would you like some leg therapy?” Moonface asked bitterly, eyeing his shaved leg. Brambleclaw immediately ceased laughing, looking as though he was about to rip the EpicClan deputy into shreds.

“Now now,” Epicmoon meowed,” Shall we start on our tour around EpicClan’s camp?”

The ThunderClan cats nodded as they followed the EpicClan leader towards a den.

Inside were three old-looking cats, who were too busy to even notice them. An apprentice was inside too, shredding their mossy nests into shreds. One of them, a brown she-cat grabbed the apprentice’s tail, hissing,” Talonpaw! I can see clearly that you’re destroying our nests!”

Talonpaw sank his teeth into the elder’s paw, as he wriggled out of her grip. “I hate doing these kind of work! Your nests stinks, Grandma!”

As both old and young chased each other about the camp, Epicmoon shrugged at the bewildered ThunderClan cats. “Elders and apprentices are natural enemies.”

“Right!” An elder agreed instantly. “Apprentices are nothing but trouble!”

“And they’re really brainless!” Another added.

Epicmoon sighed as he led the ThunderClan cats to another den. Inside was the smell of herbs and Jayfeather leaned forward in interest, asking,” Is this a medicine cat’s den?”

A small tabby she-cat emerged from the dark den and growled,” Yes and this is my den!”

“Sharptongue,” Epicmoon began with a despondent sigh but was immediately cut off by the tabby cat.

“Do not enter! Do not touch anything! Stay away from the herbs! If I smell your stench in there, I will personally deal with you!” Sharptongue rattled on.

She paused and added sweetly,” Unless you’re sick or injured and you really really need me to help you…”

“DO NOT COME NEAR!” She yowled suddenly and the ThunderClan cats leaped back in fright. As they watch her disappear inside, Jayfeather broke the silence,” Wow. She sure is one of kind.”

Cloudtail was momentarily speechless and mewed after a few heartbeats,” I am never going into that medicine cat’s den. Ever.”

Epicmoon brought them towards another den. “This is the Warriors den. Say hi, Foxdung!”

A ginger tom stepped out and snarled,” Great meeting you. Don’t come back.” With that, he padded back in.

“Foxdung? Isn’t that a horrible name?” Brightheart gasped.

Epicmoon fixed a dazzling smile on her. “Mademoiselle, doesn’t he remind you of one?”

Berrynose snorted,” He smells like one.”

A voice came from inside the warriors den. “I can hear what you’re saying!”

Epicmoon shrugged when he suddenly had a look of horror on his face. “I’ve forgotten! There’s supposed to be a Clan meeting now!”

With one leap, he landed on the tall boulder in the middle of camp and yowled,” Let all cats who are still breathing and alive gather beneath the Moon Rock for a Clan meeting!”

Brambleclaw couldn’t believe what he was hearing but still, he settled down on the ground.

“Just a few words! We have visitors from ThunderClan, do welcome them! Dismissed!”

Cloudtail opened his mouth and closed it stupidly. “Whaat?!”

“And I guess the whole Clan is feeling hungry now,” Epicmoon murmured before yowling,” Alright! Its time for lunch everyone! Single file please! Enjoy the food!”

Almost instantly all the cats rushed towards the fresh-kill pile, fighting over prey.

“We have three courses! Appetizer, main course and dessert! The rabbit legs are very tasty!” The EpicClan leader gushed excitedly.

Berrynose looked eager. “Can we try rabbit legs too, Brambleclaw?”

“No!” The ThunderClan deputy hissed.

“I now thoroughly understand why StarClan couldn’t stand EpicClan,” Cloudtail muttered under his breath.

“We have to go now, Epicmoon,” Brambleclaw nudged the EpicClan leader.

Epicmoon spunned around, bits of rabbit fur in his jaws. “Oh my. Do visit again next time!” he called.

The ThunderClan cats glanced back once more at the EpicClan camp before returning back to their own camp.


THE END

Glad that you guys like it! Thanks for the reviews!

Add more or I wll be mad at you. And Epicmoon. Epicmoon will die on the moon!

Curse who? O.o Fang, please don't use such words like "curse".

Ok, I`ll edit it my post. But I think Epicmoon will die on the moon.

Haha good idea! I'll consider

Very good! It's without a doubt original!

Thanks Stareye! Thumbs up for the positive comments!

Epicmoon still makes me laugh....

You should add an epilogue where Brambleclaw tells Firestar about EpicClan and Firestar wants to come and see for himself! Just a thought.

Lol xDD That's soo funny xD Moonmoon xDD

XD My fav part was:

"Let all cats who are still breathing and alive gather beneath the Moon Rock for a Clan meeting!”

This is great Iceclaw I loved it! :

I liked the appetizer and stuff part xDD 3 courses xD

That was hilarious:) Thanks for the laughs

Awesome fanfic!!

This is hilarious! I actually laughed a couple of times!! Please write more, it's awesome!

EpicClan?! That was MY idea! XD And the leader is Dreamstar... But I like the name Brightmoon... XD

Hehe THANKS FOR THE GREAT REVIEWS!! It's actually pretty tough to write a comedy fanfic

Dreamcloud, I have no intention of copying your ideas! XD


AND....... *drum roll* I'm planning to write another story and this time, the Clan will be....


BLOGCLAN

Will you post it on this topic? I like this, it`s very humorous!

How about BananaClan? XD Wou'ld I be the leader, Ninjabanana? That would be EPIC!

it's great so far! though it's kinda long. if you could separate it into parts it might make it easier to read in spoilers. sometimes it can make it funnier. i'm working on a comedy act, but everyone at my school is dirty so it's hard. you're a natural

No, it`d be Fang, Fatbanana.... XD

HAHA I choose BlogClan because I'm inspired after Kate Cary! She came up with that word a few times so I've decided to write a fanfic about it.

Tigerspirit wrote:No, it`d be Fang, Fatbanana.... XD

Haha, very funny. But I`d be Handsomebanana!