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Post by Crimsonpaw April 1st 2015, 13:24

My sis did these wth me yesterday and a friend of hers over the phone. She trying to keep me company while Im sick I guess.

Fable #1
Once upon a time, a quiet tornado expert named Annabelle felt an obnoxious pain. She sent for a cheesy surgeon who looked at her broken stomach and said, "Oww!" Then he muttered randomly, "I see your trouble. The doughnut on your curly stomach is overlapping the ketchup next to your kidney." The surgeon stupidly took him to the hungry operating room of the hospital. There he made a horrible incision reaching from the person's lightning to her tooth. "WATCH OUT!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that hilarious window." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the computer out of the knife, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the stairs. MORAL: A leaf blower in time saves nine.

Fable #2
Once upon a time, there was a very curious girl who was always poking her nose into everybody's baseball bats. She kept company with an itchy man named Barry, who was always buying her slimy presents. Once he gave her diamond shark to wear on her police car, and he bought her a flammable zombie to wear in her trash bag. Then one day he bought her an expensive horse. As soon as she saw the stretchy animal, she began to examine it awkwardly. First, she looked at the horse's jellyfish and then at its Doritos. Then she opened its mouth so she could look at its toilet. At this, the horse became nerdy and bit off her french fry. MORAL: Never look a gift horse in the tongue.

Army Infomation
If you plan on joining the army, here are some moldy hints that will help you become a spotted soldier. The army is made up of officers non-coms and pickles. You can recognize an officer by the swing on his shoulders and the playstation two on his cap. When you address an officer, always say, "moose" and salute hungrily. If you get a metal haircut, keep your sandals shined, and see that your hairdryer is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "the Army builds earthquakes." And at roll coll, when the burning sergeant calls your name, shout "Weeeee!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre orange juice and the automatic whisker. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the sour Conduct Box.

Desciption of Wedding
The salty wedding yesterday afternoon between sour Annabelle and her groom, Tikki, was carried off quickly. The bride wore a long noisy candle with striped edging and a furry neckline. At the end of the warm ceremony, there wasn't a dry lamp in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a fizzy man, just the type of yahtzee we wanted for our wooden daughter." The crazy couple left midst a flurry of invisible congratulations, to spend a pointy honeymoon visiting clocks in Antarctica. They are sure to live confusingly for many years.
Crimsonpaw
Crimsonpaw
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