Snowstorm

by Snowstorm January 20th 2013, 18:55

Cat Name: Snowstorm
Gender: She-cat
Age: 15 moons
Favorite Warriors Characters: Bluestar, Spottedleaf, Cinderpelt, and finally Firestar.
Appearance: Her fur is as white as snow, with very few black stripes around her body. Her eyes are a vibrant as the yellow sun that shines above us, and that colour of yellow, too! She has a small body, which makes it easy to run fast, and get through small spaces. Her leg are longer than the normal warriors, but not the longest. Even though with her small body and long legs, she can not jump as high as Skyclan cats, nor run as fast as the Windclan cats. If she had a challenge with them, she would come close, but they would win of course.
Personality: Snowstorm is a very happy cat, but is very shy. She tries to stay in a crowd as if it's a life or death situation, hating being singled out by other cats. If your lucky enough to be her friend, she has a very perky personailty. She can joke around all day long, and doesn't seem to get mad much. She walks with a small spring in her walk, showing her happiness. Although she is very friendly, you don't want to meet her in battle. She has a soft spot for kits, and loves seeing them in the nursery playing.
Special Traits: With her small body and long legs, she can get through tiny spaces, jump high, and run fast.
Weaknesses: With her small body, she isn't the strongest. Even though she tried as much as she could when she was an apprentice, she is weaker than mostly every warrior. Every day she trains by herself, trying to get stronger. She fears becaus of how weak she is, she will die in a battle. She can also get frightened easily. It's not hard to make her run away.
Family: When she was born, her mother had died from to much blood being lost. Her father died a moon later from green cough. She had one sister and one brother, who had died one day after birth. She had never known the names of her parents or siblings, and no one ever talks about them. It seems she will never know until it is time for her to join them in Starclan.
History/Origins: As a kit, Snowstorm was the littelest of the litter. Nobody thought she was gonna survive, but she did. Her mother died from too much blood being lost from birth, and never got to name her kits. The next day her siblings died. It was an unknown sickness, and they didn't pull through. A moon later, she still hadn't opened her eyes. Her father died from geencough, and the day after she opened her eyes.
Clan: Moonclan
Rank: Warrior
Looks:

Kit:

Apprentice:

Warrior:

by **Scarlett** January 20th 2013, 19:05

I really like what you have so far. My only advice for the time being would be to change the color of the "Special Traits" section so that it is easier for people to read.

by **Caraway** January 20th 2013, 19:16

i like your history a lot Very Happy

short and sweet (well, tragic). there are just a few typos, such as "vibrant" in your description and "is" in the sentence "although she ios very friendly..."

the weakness is not much a of a weakness. i would change that, but if you want her to be that way then it doesn't matter Smile

some details also repeat a lot, but proofreading can easily fix that.

it's great for a first draft Very Happy

by Snowstorm January 20th 2013, 19:17

Thanks for all the suggestion guys! I'll fix everything up quickly! Cat Smile

by **Scarlett** January 20th 2013, 19:19

Did you join Moonclan or is that Awesome clan. The colors are so close I can't always tell.

I might also suggest adding your clan and rank to the sheet. It makes it a little bit easier to keep track and follow your charater.

by Snowstorm January 20th 2013, 19:45

Thanks for all the tips guys! I read it over, and fixed up everything I think needed to be fixed! Snowstorm 592502337

I think it's pretty good, but I always accept more tips!

by **Scarlett** January 20th 2013, 19:47

Well you can look at my character sheet (link in my signature0 or any one else's and add whatever you feel you want to.

by Snowstorm January 20th 2013, 19:53

Ooh, I really like it! I think I'll add that looks thing, where she's a kit, apprentice and warrior!

by **Scarlett** January 20th 2013, 19:54

Cool. If you add a lot of pictures, I would recommend adding spoilers in so that no one's page is distorted or lagging.

by Snowstorm January 20th 2013, 20:19

Yes, I always doi them in spoilers Snowstorm 1818838577

by Icestar January 20th 2013, 20:21

Nice description! I really like the pictures Very Happy

Will you be adding more?

by Phoenixflare January 20th 2013, 20:47

Great! You've done an awesome job. You gonna add more? It's great!

by Snowstorm January 21st 2013, 17:40

Yes, I will add more. I was just working on it wuickly, and couldn't get any more done. I had to go to bed. Sleep

by **Scarlett** January 21st 2013, 17:48

Well you did pretty good anyway. Now's the time to jump into the rps and help out your clan. Smile

by Phoenixflare January 21st 2013, 17:57

Yeah! You're in Moonclan, right? If you are, party time! Snowstorm 592502337

by Snowstorm January 21st 2013, 18:17

Ya, thanks guys! I think I'll add more later on, just so it's more descriptive.

I'm in Moonclan! Party time! Snowstorm 592502337

by Hazelstar January 21st 2013, 18:57

I like it! Simply short and sweet, that's what makes it nice! Sometimes when you get a really long charrie sheet, people don't read it all! (Mine. XD)
Keep up the good work, and there is always room for improvement!

by Snowstorm January 21st 2013, 20:07

Ya, when it's too long lots of people don't read it! I'm trying to aim it for not to long, but not to short. Truly, I think it just needs a few more sentences.

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