Snowswirl

I finally got around to doing this.

Name: Snowswirl
Clan: WindClan
Age: 20 moons
Gender: she-cat
Description: small white she-cat with a pink nose, light gray flecks on her pelt and tail tip, and unusual black eyes
Personality: friendly and cheerful most of the time; but very shy around strangers
Flaws she's clumsy and not as agile as most warriors, also can be very emotionally ignorant sometimes
Special Traits a very fast runner and a good tracker; has an incredible nose
Parents Blizzard and Graydapple
History Snowswirl used to live as a loner. Graydapple, her mother, was a Windclan warrior who left her clan for a rogue tom she fell in love with. He was Blizzard, Snowswirl’s father. Sadly, he wasn't as trustworthy as Graydapple had thought he was, and abandoned her before her single kit, Snowkit, was born. Graydapple was very upset but that didn't stop her from taking care of her kit properly. She waited until Snowkit was 6 moons old, and then held an apprentice ceremony, renaming her Snowpaw. Graydapple still followed the traditions of her past, but she was too ashamed to return to her clan, fearing the rumours and humiliation. Snowpaw was trained just like any other Windclan apprentice was. She might've lived her whole life without ever knowing about the clans, but a terrible incident changed her life. One day, Snowpaw, then 11 moons, and her mother were out hunting when a fox attacked them and terribly wounded Graydapple. She joined Starclan a day later from losing too much blood, but before she died, she told Snowpaw all about the clans and told her to go back to them. Snowpaw promised she would. Two moons later, she finally stumbled onto Windclan territory. A patrol noticed her and chased her away, but as they did, she asked if she could join their clan. The warriors ignored her request, thinking it was ridiculous. But word spread, and eventually the deputy, came to see Snowpaw, who had been living just behind the border. The deputy was very old, a moon away from retiring, and he recognized Snowpaw as Graydapple’s daughter. He pestered the leader about letting her join the clan, and the leader finally agreed that she could be assessed, but only allowed to join if she had potential. The assessment showed that her skills surpassed those of an apprentice’s and were as good as any warrior’s, so she was admitted into the clan. Her warrior ceremony was held immediately and she was then named Snowswirl.

ooh cool story!

I like the history! It would be better if you capatalized the first words in a section, but that is totally optional! Besides that, it's very good!

Very creative history Yours has the least amount of cliché bits I've seen so far The description also sounds pretty ^^

The only mistakes were just misuses of punctuation; too many commas in some places, a semi-colon where it's not supposed to be, etc. Try reading things aloud when you're editing. It should help you to fix the flow of words

This is really cool! I like this! I never would've thought about what you have in your history. I have also never seen a character sheet like this! It;s original in my mind.