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The Story of Icekit

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The Story of Icekit

Post by Frost on January 19th 2013, 11:02

Based on my character sheet: http://www.warriorcatsforum.com/t894p140-phantom-s-characters-updated#79462

Apprentice
Spoiler:
"You're not one of us," Rainpaw spat, shouldering past Icepaw roughly. Her beautiful, yet cold green eyes were filled with hatred and disdain. "You're an outcast, just like Coldpaw. You don't deserve to hang out with us."

Her cronies, Creekpaw and Berrypaw, stood next to her, their gaze equally hostile. Icepaw stared at her paws as they trio padded away, their laughter echoing as they broke into a playful tussle. Inside, it felt as though each word was like a wound in her heart. I'll never be like them. I'll never be accepted by the Clan, even though they're my Clanmates. They'll never treat me the way they treat the others.

She felt a gentle nudge next to her. "Hey," Her brother, Coldfur, mewed. The expression on his face told her that he had seen everything that happened. "You look tired, go have some sleep."

Icepaw didn't object but blankly followed the blue-gray tom into the apprentice den. With a heavy sigh, she curled up in her mossy nest, forcing her eyes shut, hoping that it was enough to convince her brother that she was asleep. After what seemed like eternity, she felt Coldfur leave, his soft pawsteps fading away, just like how she felt like doing now. Pretending that she didn't exist since there was no meaning for her to.

This is a really short snippet of my character's life. I'm really busy with schoolwork yeah so it would be a slow update. Hope you like it! Very Happy

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Re: The Story of Icekit

Post by Ren on January 19th 2013, 12:37

Detailed and accurate. I like it so far, Phantom! Make more soon. There was a few errors, like 'they' instead of 'the', but it's just grammar Very Happy And in the beggining, you said Coldpaw, and then later he was Coldfur.
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Re: The Story of Icekit

Post by Nyx on January 19th 2013, 13:10

Not bad for a start Phanny ^-^ It's short, but it starts the storyline nicely. Can't wait for the next update!

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